Remember Your ABC's Next Time You Feel Frustrated During A Hard Conversation

Consider that anything and everything we want in leadership and in life is available through being in relationship and engaging in conversations. An essential skill to master is learning how to engage in accountability conversations that actually impact and transform behaviors and performance in the people we lead.

I am including just the first 3 basic steps to master when engaging in accountability conversations. Think of it like learning how to play the piano, ride a bike, or learn how to talk. We start by practicing the basics.

Accountability conversations usually catch us off guard. The next time you feel triggered or frustrated, pause and remember your ABC’s.

A. Awareness

Notice and become aware when someone didn’t do what he or she said they would do, or by when they said they would do it.

B. Body

Become aware of the emotions you are experiencing in your body. Before you have a conversation with the other person, make sure that you aren’t feeling triggered, emotional, or reactive. If you are feeling angry, upset, or frustrated, first get support from someone you trust who can provide a supportive listening ear.

C. Conclusion

Before talking to someone about not following through, ask yourself, “If any result were possible, what would be the outcome or conclusion that I would want to create as a result of this conversation?”

Most of us go into conversations without being clear or intentional about the outcome we want to create, and as a result, we resort to venting or blaming the other person.

Try this at work and at home. I encourage you to be gentle with yourself and give yourself what I call “Grace and Space.” You are human. You will bumble around and make mistakes in your accountability conversations.

And always remember, it’s okay for you, and others, to make mistakes. Make it okay to say, “I’m sorry,” “I got that wrong,” or “Can we have a re-do conversation?”

Wisdom, insight, and mastery come from making lots of mistakes, reflecting, and making even just a 1% improvement in your next conversation.

Moments That Matter A Personal Note From Leslie

Leading with Influence is all about creating conversations that make a difference and moments that matter. Impacting the people we lead starts with creating moments that matter for ourselves as leaders by filling our own cup first.

It’s hard to be an impactful leader when we’re feeling drained, anxious, and exhausted. I will be including brief snippets in my weekly letter about how I am creating moments that matter to fill and fuel myself as a leader.

Last week, I escaped to a nearby pond and indulged in a “just-for-me moment” while I journaled and sat in quiet reflection. It gave me an opportunity to reflect on my business and how I want to make an even greater impact.

I even witnessed an Osprey (also called a Fish Hawk) swoop down, catch a fish in the pond, and carry it off! The world sang with aliveness through the cascading sounds of crickets and birds. I left feeling grateful, replenished, and restored. You can see the photo I took below.

A Huge Thank YOU!

A heartfelt thank you to all of you who shared your thoughts and ideas over the past month and a half through the Lead with Influence surveys, focus groups, and Leadership Insight Conversations. 

As a thank you, I promised to share a leadership training designed to transform how you lead and help create a team that shows up with passion, purpose, and pride. 

Keep your eyes open in the coming weeks for the free Lead with Influence training. You have played an instrumental role in helping shape this program, and for that, I sincerely thank you!

About Leslie

Leslie Cunningham helps small business owners and leaders create teams that care by transforming the leader first. With more than 30 years of experience, she specializes in personal leadership development that builds confident communication, strengthens accountability, elevates ownership, and creates cultures where people are genuinely motivated to perform. Leslie is an award-winning leadership expert, internationally published author, national columnist, and radio personality.

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