Why Your Team (Or That One Person) Isn't Changing

Over the past several weeks, leaders have been sharing some common frustrations with me... 

How do I get my staff to believe in what they're doing instead of just selling stuff? I avoid confrontation and having difficult conversations. I'm butting heads with other leaders. Our staff is complacent. We're not unified as a leadership team. There's a lack of trust. Our employees aren't embracing our values. Our employees think they know best and know more than the leadership team.

Do any of these frustrations sound familiar?

The bottom-line question leaders are asking is: "How do I influence and impact the people I lead?"

While many of us were initially inspired by leadership, there are times when we lose the possibility of leadership. We begin feeling resentful toward the people we lead as we see the same behaviors, patterns, problems, and challenges repeated over and over again. 

The secret to influencing the people we lead is first transforming how we, as leaders, are leading our people.

Three Kinds of Talking: The Secret to Being a Better Leader 

Leadership thought leader Werner Erhard shares that there are three basic kinds of conversations, or speaking, that impact the way we lead and whether or not others will choose to follow us. 

1. Explanatory

We talk about the people we lead. We explain and rationalize their behaviors. We develop theories about why they behave the way they do. We analyze. We hold beliefs about them. We look for evidence to support our beliefs and assumptions. 

2. Evoking

This is conversation that brings an experience present, much like poetry does. We can experience sadness, joy, inspiration, or awe. 

3. Generative

There is a kind of speaking that alters who we are being, both ourselves as leaders and the people we are leading. This speaking brings a new possibility forward that wasn't present before. It alters the future of a team, an organization, or a business.

History is full of examples of generative language. When John F. Kennedy declared, "We will put a man on the moon within 10 years." When Martin Luther King Jr. shared his dream of a united nation. When Mahatma Gandhi stood for a free and independent India. These leaders spoke futures into existence before anyone knew exactly how they would become reality. 

Generative language includes creating a vision for the future, making declarations, and committing to a new possibility for your team or organization without having any idea how it will happen. 

Most of us as leaders get stuck explaining, blaming, or resenting the people we lead. It's normal to get stuck there. And when we do, we begin to lose our passion and joy for leadership.

The future of your team is shaped by the conversations you create.

Your Simple Leadership Practice Step 

Notice the conversations in your head and with the people you lead, at work and in life. Ask yourself whether you are speaking from an explanatory, evoking, or generative conversation.

Hint: Most of us get stuck in explanatory conversations.

But here's the deal: We forget that we can create as leaders. We are creative beings. There is no certain way that anyone or any situation inherently is. Everything and everyone is impermanent and malleable.

What new possibility could you begin speaking into existence for your team today?

I will be sharing more about how to be a powerful, creative leader in upcoming letters so that you can transform how you lead, transform the people you lead, and transform your culture.

When leaders shift from explanatory conversations to generative conversations, engagement, ownership, accountability, and performance begin to change. People stop simply reacting to circumstances and start creating breakthrough results.

It's an amazing journey, deeply rewarding and richly fulfilling.

Hold on tight. I wouldn't want you to miss this incredible ride.

Leslie

ABOUT LESLIE

Leslie Cunningham helps small business owners and leaders create teams that care by transforming the leader first. With more than 30 years of experience, she specializes in personal leadership development that builds confident communication, strengthens accountability, elevates ownership, and creates cultures where people are genuinely motivated to perform. Leslie is an award-winning leadership expert, internationally published author, national columnist, and radio personality.

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